During the course of thousands
of treatments, it has been seen that many potential patients are dubious of the effects of counselling, have little understanding
of what is involved , have heard exaggerated claims or worse still, exaggerated accounts of disasters arising from counselling
treatment. In many cases, the person has done something in the past or is in a personal situation that should not ever be
revealed to anyone.
They may regard themselves
as a failure should they even consider seeking help. Many people are so proud and defensive of their independence that to
have another advise them is quite offensive.
hears of regression therapy that has simply brought into this time an event and emotions that may have been hundreds of years
old and lodged in the subconscious, to be accessed via the genetic inherited memory route. We hear of ‘real time’
regression that delves deep into the childhood experiences without being in a position to deal with the consequences. One
hears of tricksters who claim to regress by autosuggestion and the inquisitiveness of the patient to glean vast fees under
pretence. Such practices are disreputable but too common.
Quite often we find cases where the vivid imagination of a child has been seen to manifest in the real time now and
when investigated, it turns out to be something they have seen on TV , at the cinema or in a book or something that happened
to someone at infant school. The event simply did not happen in the manner it has been recalled or stored in the subconscious.
To ply this with platitudes and misconceptions is grossly wrong.
In the main, counsellors are well trained, experienced in different therapies and may be able to employ Emotional
Freedom Techniques, Polarity Therapy, any other energy work or hypnotherapy to complement their practice.
The confidentiality of a true counselling professional is supposed to be absolute and
when that is seen to be the case, it places the counsellor in an invidious situation akin to the confessional box. A patient
may feel that what they have done is too bad to burden anyone with the knowledge. The risk of having discovered a child by
someone else or an abortion or the act of assault upon another or having been raped or mentally assaulted is too great. The
prospect of getting caught is too often the background cause of stress and the nearer is the prospect of discovery, the worse
is the stress.
Sometimes a person has had a period
in a psychiatric unit for whatever reason and to have that disclosed to an employer or one’s children is too much to
Sometimes, what may to be to a child’s
eye an innocent event has been distorted and had a connotation placed upon it in adult life that simply was not true. What
parent has not ever inspected their child for the correct development, that testicles have dropped, that have not ever bathed
with the child or any of a thousand normal events that society has now branded as perverted. We live in times when it is seen
as suspect to even have a photo of one’s child in a pool or the bath. This does not help at all where values are falsely
Guilt and deceit are common. Deceit
is a habit that is learned by getting away with it from childhood. One parent may say to the child, ’ Don’t tell
Daddy and I will buy you a bike’ when caught with the man next door. Sometimes we find that they have raided another’s
Visa card when trusted as a co-signatory. What lessons are learned from this display of absolute dishonesty is that this is
the way of the world and what is done to keep ahead of others. It teaches nothing of true values of honesty and integrity.
The nearer the point of discovery, the more is the stress and the more defensive or
aggressive becomes the one so embroiled. People have killed another to avoid discovery when there has been no intention of
revealing the secret. Stress creates illusion.
stress condition might manifest as high blood pressure, reflux, fainting fits, depression, systemic pain, arthritis or rheumatism,
over dependence on pain killers and anti-depressants or alcoholism. The one so affected will identify a rational cause and
try to promote it with the Doctors and counsellors as the real reason and try any means to keep hidden the real cause, even
where that is realised. They may try to blame the other party and be so obnoxious as to deliberately attempt to break up the
marriage to avoid discovery. Severe depression is common.
This is a serious situation that often belies belief that one can get to this but is does happen.
One cannot say that every person who is depressed and is in need of counselling is
in this state or harbours any of the above situations. What has been said before are the extreme cases.
Nevertheless, if a person needs help, the volition must come from them in the first
place. To have a person, whether that be a partner, parent, friend, work mate or anyone else saying in effect ‘You’re
off your trolley and you need help’ is not the way to go about it.
Often, it is the partner who presents first at the clinic, at the end of their tether and trying to find a solution
that cannot be found. Often they are loving, kind and generous towards the person in need and really do try to find the best
way of approaching this.
We find those who
are only too eager to ‘get help’ when all they need is to face up to their responsibilities and the consequences
of what actions they take. We find those who ‘need’ counselling so that they at least have got someone to talk
to who is not going to criticise, hold grudges, throw it back in their face, store ammunition or simply actually listen to
them. Who then, in that situation actually needs the counselling ?
Things are never what they seem at first glance and rapid assessments are quite fraught with potential dismay and
misconception. It may take years to get to the bottom of what is actually the case.
Then we get to the stage where the person presents for treatment and the conduct of
the first interview.
This is crucial. Any
mistakes here may well ruin any chance of helping the patient.
The appointment must be clearly stated and leeway allowed for early or late arrival. The patient may well have a
subliminal wish not to attend and deliberately miss the train and hope they are too late or arrive so early as to be quite
in the way.
The reception area must be clean,
accommodating, warmly welcoming and so on.
actual session will not be discussed here.
be aware of the above situations and look for it.
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